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Be At Peace With Your Decisions

Your parent or friend is dying and you haven't spoken for a long time because of conflict between you, what do you do to be at peace with your decision?

I was talking to a close friend a few months ago that had a parent who was dying from cancer. The problem my friend was having was that her mom and her had a falling out and had not been speaking for a very long time. She was having trouble mostly because it took her so long to get to the point where she felt she had done everything she could do for that relationship and was content in her life without her mother. Now the tables were turning, her mother was very sick and who was going to care for her? My friend was the only child and her father had already passed away.

My friend, knowing that I had dealt with problems of my own with my parents, came to me for advice. Lets just say we sat and talked for at least three hours and when we were done she told me that I really helped her. She said because of all I had been through with my parents that she expected me to say the opposite than I did, I think she was hoping I would.

Trying to be as brief as I can on our conversation, I started by telling my friend how things occurred. I was married for a few months and hadn't spoken to my parents in several months. I, for the first time in my life, could be me without worry of a disaster being around the corner. My husband and I were entertaining a few of our friends in our apartment when my phone rang, it was my mother.

Good thing I had a couple drinks in me because I handled it more calmly. My mother told me my father was dying from lung cancer. My father and I were not close at all ever, actually, he was never a good father to me as I was concerned. I don't remember that phone conversation well enough to tell you what was said but I know I did a lot of listening. After our friends left our apartment and I told my husband what was happening, my brain had to sort out what I was going to do.

I will tell you that I came up with many more reasons not to go see him than I did to go see him. One fact remained steady, he was my father. Whether I liked, loved, or hated him, he was my father and he was dying. I went to my parents house for the first time since the horrible day that I left. God, it was hard to be there. There were no apologies for the past, no I love you's, no emotion but that I was doing what was expected of me.

I not only went there that first day but many days after, I stayed with my father when my mother couldn't be there, I went to the hospital when he was in there, and I was there at the hospital the day he died. The day my father died, I swear he waited for me to be there, it was the first time in my entire life that my father told me he loved me and was proud of me. The words came a little late for me but probably gave him some peace while dying.

Do I regret my decision to be there for my father? The answer is a definite NO, I would do the same if I had to do it all over again. I did the same with my mother after but she didn't pass away for another twenty-four years.

My feelings are this, people don't always meet your expectations, they don't even meet their own. As bad as things were in our home growing up there was always the thought it could have been worse. If I was to be honest, my decisions were truly based on what I could live with. I was becoming closer to the person I wanted to be and with respect for myself and my parents being my parents, I made the right decision.

My friends mother has since passed away, she did go back and spend time with her. Although the situations that made them part were never addressed and resolved, my friend is a peace with her decision.

If you have this same kind of situation, know that you are not alone, do what is best for you in the long run. You do not have to give in, you are not admitting defeat, you don't even have to talk about the past. You do, however, need to live in the future and be able to be at peace with your decisions.

Learn How to Control Your Stress Rather Than Letting it Control You

Source: mentallynewme.blogspot.com

Do You Hate Your Mirror?

Do you hate looking in your mirror? A important fact I have found in my life is that you need to feel good about yourself. You need to try every day to make the changes in your life to make that feeling possible.

I always thought if you can look in the mirror and like what you see on the inside and out that you have done your job for that day. I think when you really look at yourself in the mirror you see things that you might not notice about yourself.

You can make changes on the way you look, maybe you want to change your hair, makeup, weight, anything along that line. You can also make changes that will change the look you see on your face. When you look in the mirror do you see a person that isn't getting enough sleep? Do you see someone who isn't happy or is carrying around a lot of stress?

It is so important that you notice the person you are seeing in that mirror. When you can recognize the problem, you can then work on solving it. Whether it be something really minor or something major that you want to change doesn't matter, it is that you took the time to notice.

An example of this would be that when my kids use to come home with their report card and sometimes their grade wouldn't be as good as the last time. My children would give me their report card and wait to see how I would respond. Early on I learned that it was better for both of us if I laid the response on them. I would say, "Hey, if you can look in the mirror and you are happy with that grade and you know you have done the best you can do then ok.". It worked for us, because then they began to notice that only they had the power to make things the way they wanted them to be.

I believe this theory can work for all people if they give it a try. When you are really looking at yourself it is hard to lie, it's harder to let things go, it's harder to not notice.

Funny thing, that mirror, it shows you a person that you have all the power in the world to change. That mirror gives you the ability to make you feel better about yourself on the inside and out.

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Source: mentallynewme.blogspot.com

My Grandmother

Every one has that one special person in their life that stood beside them always and loved you more, you feel, than anyone else. My Grandmother would be that person for me. I don't know what my life would have been like without my Grandmother. I was lucky enough to at least have her in my life for fourteen years before she passed away.

I spent a lot of time with my grandmother when I was growing up. At first when I was very little, I don't remember where she lived, but I remember waiting for her anxiously to come visit me. My parents house was very big and there was a apartment on the other side of the house, eventually she moved in that apartment.

While my Grandmother lived there, I think I spent more time with her than at my own part of the house. My Grandmother brought comfort and love to my life where my parents were not capable of those traits. I can remember playing bingo, rummy, and cribbage all the time with her. Her favorite shows were Parry Mason and Emergency, I watched them all the time with her. I loved grocery shopping with my Grandmother, she always let me pick out a couple things I really wanted. I also cleaned for my Grandmother regularly and it was something I actually looked forward to.

My parents traveled a lot so I was lucky that my Grandmother was always there to take care of me, I couldn't have asked for a better babysitter. When things got rough at home with my parents my Grandmother use to let me talk into a tape recorder and get out all the things I was feeling. I really don't think that she did this for any other reason than to help me vent.
She worried about me so much and I knew it.

My Grandmother was my constant, she was the one person I knew would always be there. When I was about eleven years old my Grandmother fell down from my back porch and broke her hip which had her laid up in a nursing home for awhile. The nursing home was not too far from my house so I didn't mind so much because I could walk there and I knew that it was only temporary.

When my Grandmother was better my mother decided that it was time for her to move into a senior citizen place to live. I was not happy at all for this decision and I will never believe it was what my Grandmother wanted. I still stayed with my grandmother every weekend, she lived close to my school and a couple of my friends so it worked out fine. It got to a point where I would even go down and join the functions that were going on there with her, all the older people enjoyed me very much. I took dance lessons for several years so I would put on shows for them and stuff.

Nearing closer to the time my Grandmother passed away, I didn't go there as much. I got involved in so many activities and boys came into my life. I still saw her quite a lot but not as much as before, I always felt bad about that. One day I came home to find out that my Grandmother had died in her sleep, it was the worst news I ever could have heard.

I missed my Grandmother more than words can tell but I am grateful for having her. I found out a couple years later that the night before she passed away that my Grandmother had called my aunt and asked her to make sure I was ok and didn't get married to get away from my house. I guess she kind of knew it was her time. My Grandmother cared for me right up till the last minute and I wouldn't give up a minute that I spent with her.

Grandmothers are so important, the role they can take on in a child's life is priceless. I named my daughter after my Grandmother and I hope she realizes how special that is to me.


Constructive Ways To Help You Live

Source: mentallynewme.blogspot.com

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Pregnancy Diet
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Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!
I was watching this commercial last night and it questioned on how many times you question decisions that you have made. It referred to having money problems and whether you would send your child to college or not because of those money problems. It talked about if you gave your child a correct punishment that was deserved because of an act they had participated in and so fourth.

It had really nothing to do with what it was advertising about but it really made me stop and think of how many times we doubt the decisions we make every day. I think as much as we believe in what our decision is that there is always that little piece of doubt if it was the right one.

We hope that decision has the conclusions we are picturing it to have. No matter what the situation is we have to take the person or persons involved, the situation at hand, and combine the two to see how we see it all act out. What we see isn't always the way it plays through but we learn from that.

Not every decision we make has to be the best, that decision doesn't have to have the perfect ending. No matter how confident you are there will always be some doubts of your decisions. We are not made to be perfect people and we will not always make the perfect decision.

Don't put more pressure on yourself than you need to. If you have put thought into your decision and feel good about it, you have done your part. If things don't work out the way you had planned you can always make a new decision, now I'm talking the normal every day decisions.

Say that you are having financial difficulty and your child wants to go to college, of course look into any programs that can assist you, maybe have your child live at home and go to a community college, or have them hold off a year and work to save some money to attend the next year. As long as you are honest of the reasons for that decision with the people involved you are doing the right thing.

We put so much pressure on ourselves every day and we need to stop or at least give ourselves a break. This is just a thought for the day, the commercial just got me thinking.

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Source: mentallynewme.blogspot.com

Fun With April Fools Day

Tomorrow is April 1st, are you ready to have some fun with that? Many people find April Fools Day to be a day to have some fun with friends.

I have had a few April Fools jokes played on me over the years. Of course sometimes I didn't find the jokes to be very funny until after the fact. Jokes like I've been in a accident and something happened to the house and so fourth really can get you worked up and it is hard to find the humor at the moment.

I have played a few jokes on people too. One joke I played was on one of my bosses. I was working for a book fair business and one of the Harry Potter Books was just being released. The book was treated as if it was gold and inventory needed to be done on this book every morning and night before I left because it was not the release date yet and it was illegal to open any boxes till that date. There was a lot of theft going on with that book so we had to keep our eyes open.

I use to joke that I was the Harry Potter police and carried a whistle around my neck. On the day of the books release we were expecting a second shipment to come in and it just happened to be arriving on April Fools Day. I called my boss and pretended that the shipment had arrived and was damaged. I told him that I had the delivery people there and I was having a problem with them. I really got him and he never forgot that. Every year that I was there after he was waiting on April Fools for me to do something else. There was no topping that one though.

So tomorrow, on April Fools Day, lighten up and have a little fun with someone you would love to get. Also, be ready, you may be the target of someone else's plans.

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Source: mentallynewme.blogspot.com

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